Four days before departure
Had another dream last night that I was in Tanzania--this time talking to a Tanzanian girl. It was really cool, and very real. I couldn't believe the time had passed so quickly and I had already arrived! Crazyness.
It's been a good week for me, even though I haven't blogged much. I've been fighting some sort of illness, so I've done a lot of sleeping (intentional and unintentional) and some inhalation therapy (aka Vicks Vaporub). They've both helped lots, but I'm still fighting off the last of it.
Yesterday we went out to see Mum & Dad & our favourite little brothers. :) We had a short but sweet visit, complete with Olympics, pizza, and gory flesh wounds. Actually, it wasn't as gory as I had hoped. Darren had orthoscopic surgery on Wednesday, and when he told us there was a hole in his arm still, I was hoping for something really exciting. Instead it looks like he was stabbed by the tip of the world's smallest knife. As I expressed my disappointment, Dad turns to me and says, "Well, you weren't expecting an episiotomy were you?" No, I wasn't. Just something cool and maybe slightly bloody. After lunch & leisure with the family, we headed into London for Jason's best friend's wedding (Jesse). Jason played the piano for one of the songs, and it was a really beautiful ceremony. Jesse's bride, Karen, & I have gotten together a few times, and it was really good to connect with her at the reception and meet all her nephews & niece (seven all told!) as well as Jesse's family. It was a really intimate reception, too, in the minister's home. Karen's sister made cheesecake (a woman after my own heart--she also had two of her four kids at home with a midwife), and Jesse's sister made the wedding cake. They had some punch and also tons of apple cider. I love apple cider! It's so good. You don't have to dress it up at all to serve it at a to-do, either. It's just plain goodness. I drank a lot of it, too. One of the highlights of our evening (besides talking to a woman who knew what a doula was and being introduced by Karen "this is Judy, she's from New Mexico and is a midwife") was holding Karen's littlest nephew, Dawson, who is almost eight months. I'd been eyeing him all day (the arrived at the church the same time we did to practise Jason's song with the other musicians), and finally I went over and asked if I could steal their child for a while. He was a very happy baby, alert and cute and content to be passed around. I held him until Jason made me leave. :( I love weddings. It's such a blessing to share in someone else's happiness, especially when you know both people. Then you know that they're with someone really good for them. I feel that way about Karen & Jesse. Way to go!
I realized this week that my friends Jenn & Jon have been married for four years as of Thursday. FOUR YEARS! I was in their wedding, and the reason it really came to mind was because we were about to go over to Dana's to watch some Olympic short-track speed-skating, and I was thinking how that was one of the only sports I got to see of the Salt Lake games because I was at Jenn's house. Then I was like, wait, they only do this every four years--oh my goodness, it's been four years! I'm so old! She was the first of my close friends to get married. So happy anniversary to you two, and happy first birthday to your son this week, also!
Today at church was awesome for several reasons. The first of which, Pastor Scott preached about astronomy. I love astronomy. I took it my first semester in University, and I wish I had taken it every day since. It was more spiritually uplifting and awe-inspiring in me than any religion class could ever be. To see and study the wonder and vastness of God's creation blew my mind every day. Every day. The first day of that class, the first five minutes, and I knew I would never be the same. Anyway, that wasn't really what Scott preached about. But he was trying to get us to grasp a tiny itty bitty portion of how great our God is, how Powerful and Wonderful and altogether Able He is.
Second thing that struck me this morning was when we sang "Your Love O Lord" and I started thinking about the words (this is the second service, so I'd already heard the sermon once--I really love going to both services!). "Your Righteousness is like the mighty mountains." People here don't really know what mountains are. And mountains are the reason I'm always lost here. In Albuquerque, you always know where you are and what direction you're going (mostly) because of the mountains. They're huge--they overshadow the eastern half of the city; they serve as a landmark from anywhere within fifty miles or so; they're always there. Like God's righteousness--showing us His unchanging nature, pointing the right direction to us, guiding us back to where we are familiar. The mountains are almost impossible to scale--like attaining righteousness on our own. We might make it to the top, but we'll probably collapse from lack of oxygen after such exertion. Our righteousness is filthy rags. "Your Justice flows like the ocean's tide." I lived on the Pacific ocean for six beautiful, wonderful months in Mexico. The tide flows in and out, day and night, never ceasing. God's Justice stands forever--is a constant of His character. There is also a sharp undertow (especially in the Pacific)--and if you're foolish you'll go out too far, or lose you're footing, and you'll be dragged out to sea and possibly drown. Justice is harsh to fools, and wisdom causes us to stay near the beach, dip our toes in but to know that the depths of justice put us rightfully in hell. Drink the ocean, drink deeply of it, and you'll realize your folly. We cry out for justice, and it's good, but it will never satisfy your thirst, and will likely make you sick if you have too much. Justice reminds us more and more how much in need we are of God's grace, for without it none of us will stand in His presence.
Another cool thing from church this morning was getting prayed for before going to Tanzania. Several people gave me words of encouragement. One was a the sense of my being in God's hands. Another was protection for Jason's & my relationship, for communication between us and an uninterrupted spiritual connection. Another was the anointing of my hands, and a sense that I was going to proclaim life--not just newborn baby life, but spiritual life and hope in darkness. One prayed that I would not be overwhelmed by all the poverty and need and darkness of Africa; but that I'd be filled with compassion and God would lead my heart how to give to people. One woman had the words "unfinished business"--that God was taking me there to finish work He's started. This really touched me. It is a finishing not only of (for the present) my time with YWAM, but finishing some of the work that Delphine and Dagmar started--in Africa, with women, as a midwife, as a bringer of hope. I'm reminded that I have no idea what God's plan is--the wisdom or depth or scope of it--but that out of all tragedy and sorrow and despair and evil, He intends good. Like what happened in Genesis to Joseph when he was sold by his brothers into slavery--the devil intended it to destroy him and all their family and their father's faith. But God used him to save entire nations from starvation, and for the ultimate saving of the very family satan wanted to tear to shreds. I feel like that with Delphine and Dagmar--that the initial result was a breaking up of the midwife team, the death of Delphine, and the hospitalization of Dagmar. But God has such a good plan still--sending others to Africa, taking up where things have left off (albeit in another country), healing the girls to bring glory to His Name, showing us His favour and His grace and His comfort in this and all things. You know what? God was putting this into motion (for me) back in November, before the accident, before any of this had happened, preparing me for Tanzania--preparing my husband and my heart and my obedience before sorrow struck. And I know in part that the familiar bitterness of sorrow has again birthed more compassion in my heart--more desperation because our time on earth is so short.
Something else that has come about this week is an email I received from Ulani, who I'll be staying with breifly in England on my way to Tanzania. She's in her 28th week of pregnancy, and has been sick with various things the entire time. Now she's been to the doctor and has high blood pressure and proteinuria--some warning signs that bode unwell for her. She's been put on bedrest, and that's difficult on them because she's had to quit her job which was a major source of income for her & her husband. Again, I see this (and feel free to disagree with me if you like, but this is my blog and my opinion ;) as somewhere the devil is again coming in to steal and kill and destroy, and God wants to bring life, and life overflowing and abundant to them. I like to think I'm a small part of that--that the little time we get to spend together will be some encouragement for her, and an opportunity to lay hands on her in prayer and faith that God will do something. It is my experience that God loves to intervene on behalf of His children, and even on behalf of those who are not yet His own. He is good, and He is faithful, and He is unchanging and full of mercy and grace and longs for us to ask Him for every good and perfect gift, not just the gifts we think we want (see below with George MacDonald for more on asking).
Thanks all for reading, and partnering with me, and praying and encouraging. I'll keep you posted, but for now a few prayer points:
For open lines of communication between here and Tanzania.
For the five women from my church who are in Haiti--safe travel there and home on the 3rd.
Safe travel for me as I fly on the 2nd and again on the 4th.
For my dear husband in my absence.
For Ulani, that all symptoms will leave and she will be healthy for the remainder of her pregnancy.
For the Tanzanian women and babies (and the occasional man, too) who I'll be ministering to in body and spirit--that God will prepare the way to their hearts and make Himself known to them.
For Dagmar's continued healing in Germany, that she will regain full consciousness.
It's been a good week for me, even though I haven't blogged much. I've been fighting some sort of illness, so I've done a lot of sleeping (intentional and unintentional) and some inhalation therapy (aka Vicks Vaporub). They've both helped lots, but I'm still fighting off the last of it.
Yesterday we went out to see Mum & Dad & our favourite little brothers. :) We had a short but sweet visit, complete with Olympics, pizza, and gory flesh wounds. Actually, it wasn't as gory as I had hoped. Darren had orthoscopic surgery on Wednesday, and when he told us there was a hole in his arm still, I was hoping for something really exciting. Instead it looks like he was stabbed by the tip of the world's smallest knife. As I expressed my disappointment, Dad turns to me and says, "Well, you weren't expecting an episiotomy were you?" No, I wasn't. Just something cool and maybe slightly bloody. After lunch & leisure with the family, we headed into London for Jason's best friend's wedding (Jesse). Jason played the piano for one of the songs, and it was a really beautiful ceremony. Jesse's bride, Karen, & I have gotten together a few times, and it was really good to connect with her at the reception and meet all her nephews & niece (seven all told!) as well as Jesse's family. It was a really intimate reception, too, in the minister's home. Karen's sister made cheesecake (a woman after my own heart--she also had two of her four kids at home with a midwife), and Jesse's sister made the wedding cake. They had some punch and also tons of apple cider. I love apple cider! It's so good. You don't have to dress it up at all to serve it at a to-do, either. It's just plain goodness. I drank a lot of it, too. One of the highlights of our evening (besides talking to a woman who knew what a doula was and being introduced by Karen "this is Judy, she's from New Mexico and is a midwife") was holding Karen's littlest nephew, Dawson, who is almost eight months. I'd been eyeing him all day (the arrived at the church the same time we did to practise Jason's song with the other musicians), and finally I went over and asked if I could steal their child for a while. He was a very happy baby, alert and cute and content to be passed around. I held him until Jason made me leave. :( I love weddings. It's such a blessing to share in someone else's happiness, especially when you know both people. Then you know that they're with someone really good for them. I feel that way about Karen & Jesse. Way to go!
I realized this week that my friends Jenn & Jon have been married for four years as of Thursday. FOUR YEARS! I was in their wedding, and the reason it really came to mind was because we were about to go over to Dana's to watch some Olympic short-track speed-skating, and I was thinking how that was one of the only sports I got to see of the Salt Lake games because I was at Jenn's house. Then I was like, wait, they only do this every four years--oh my goodness, it's been four years! I'm so old! She was the first of my close friends to get married. So happy anniversary to you two, and happy first birthday to your son this week, also!
Today at church was awesome for several reasons. The first of which, Pastor Scott preached about astronomy. I love astronomy. I took it my first semester in University, and I wish I had taken it every day since. It was more spiritually uplifting and awe-inspiring in me than any religion class could ever be. To see and study the wonder and vastness of God's creation blew my mind every day. Every day. The first day of that class, the first five minutes, and I knew I would never be the same. Anyway, that wasn't really what Scott preached about. But he was trying to get us to grasp a tiny itty bitty portion of how great our God is, how Powerful and Wonderful and altogether Able He is.
Second thing that struck me this morning was when we sang "Your Love O Lord" and I started thinking about the words (this is the second service, so I'd already heard the sermon once--I really love going to both services!). "Your Righteousness is like the mighty mountains." People here don't really know what mountains are. And mountains are the reason I'm always lost here. In Albuquerque, you always know where you are and what direction you're going (mostly) because of the mountains. They're huge--they overshadow the eastern half of the city; they serve as a landmark from anywhere within fifty miles or so; they're always there. Like God's righteousness--showing us His unchanging nature, pointing the right direction to us, guiding us back to where we are familiar. The mountains are almost impossible to scale--like attaining righteousness on our own. We might make it to the top, but we'll probably collapse from lack of oxygen after such exertion. Our righteousness is filthy rags. "Your Justice flows like the ocean's tide." I lived on the Pacific ocean for six beautiful, wonderful months in Mexico. The tide flows in and out, day and night, never ceasing. God's Justice stands forever--is a constant of His character. There is also a sharp undertow (especially in the Pacific)--and if you're foolish you'll go out too far, or lose you're footing, and you'll be dragged out to sea and possibly drown. Justice is harsh to fools, and wisdom causes us to stay near the beach, dip our toes in but to know that the depths of justice put us rightfully in hell. Drink the ocean, drink deeply of it, and you'll realize your folly. We cry out for justice, and it's good, but it will never satisfy your thirst, and will likely make you sick if you have too much. Justice reminds us more and more how much in need we are of God's grace, for without it none of us will stand in His presence.
Another cool thing from church this morning was getting prayed for before going to Tanzania. Several people gave me words of encouragement. One was a the sense of my being in God's hands. Another was protection for Jason's & my relationship, for communication between us and an uninterrupted spiritual connection. Another was the anointing of my hands, and a sense that I was going to proclaim life--not just newborn baby life, but spiritual life and hope in darkness. One prayed that I would not be overwhelmed by all the poverty and need and darkness of Africa; but that I'd be filled with compassion and God would lead my heart how to give to people. One woman had the words "unfinished business"--that God was taking me there to finish work He's started. This really touched me. It is a finishing not only of (for the present) my time with YWAM, but finishing some of the work that Delphine and Dagmar started--in Africa, with women, as a midwife, as a bringer of hope. I'm reminded that I have no idea what God's plan is--the wisdom or depth or scope of it--but that out of all tragedy and sorrow and despair and evil, He intends good. Like what happened in Genesis to Joseph when he was sold by his brothers into slavery--the devil intended it to destroy him and all their family and their father's faith. But God used him to save entire nations from starvation, and for the ultimate saving of the very family satan wanted to tear to shreds. I feel like that with Delphine and Dagmar--that the initial result was a breaking up of the midwife team, the death of Delphine, and the hospitalization of Dagmar. But God has such a good plan still--sending others to Africa, taking up where things have left off (albeit in another country), healing the girls to bring glory to His Name, showing us His favour and His grace and His comfort in this and all things. You know what? God was putting this into motion (for me) back in November, before the accident, before any of this had happened, preparing me for Tanzania--preparing my husband and my heart and my obedience before sorrow struck. And I know in part that the familiar bitterness of sorrow has again birthed more compassion in my heart--more desperation because our time on earth is so short.
Something else that has come about this week is an email I received from Ulani, who I'll be staying with breifly in England on my way to Tanzania. She's in her 28th week of pregnancy, and has been sick with various things the entire time. Now she's been to the doctor and has high blood pressure and proteinuria--some warning signs that bode unwell for her. She's been put on bedrest, and that's difficult on them because she's had to quit her job which was a major source of income for her & her husband. Again, I see this (and feel free to disagree with me if you like, but this is my blog and my opinion ;) as somewhere the devil is again coming in to steal and kill and destroy, and God wants to bring life, and life overflowing and abundant to them. I like to think I'm a small part of that--that the little time we get to spend together will be some encouragement for her, and an opportunity to lay hands on her in prayer and faith that God will do something. It is my experience that God loves to intervene on behalf of His children, and even on behalf of those who are not yet His own. He is good, and He is faithful, and He is unchanging and full of mercy and grace and longs for us to ask Him for every good and perfect gift, not just the gifts we think we want (see below with George MacDonald for more on asking).
Thanks all for reading, and partnering with me, and praying and encouraging. I'll keep you posted, but for now a few prayer points:
For open lines of communication between here and Tanzania.
For the five women from my church who are in Haiti--safe travel there and home on the 3rd.
Safe travel for me as I fly on the 2nd and again on the 4th.
For my dear husband in my absence.
For Ulani, that all symptoms will leave and she will be healthy for the remainder of her pregnancy.
For the Tanzanian women and babies (and the occasional man, too) who I'll be ministering to in body and spirit--that God will prepare the way to their hearts and make Himself known to them.
For Dagmar's continued healing in Germany, that she will regain full consciousness.
posted by Judy Baskerville at
10:10 PM
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