I am a fringe people!

A few weeks ago (sometime around Victoria Day--may even have been the day of, but it's all a blur because I was on nights at the time, but I think it was the day of) we were over at our friend's place for a bar-b-que and sharing a bit of birth-story goodness. I mentioned how we're having a midwife, with a planned home birth, and how ten years ago only the fringe people would be doing that--those really out-there, hippy, herbal, granola-eating women. And yet how now, ten years later, it's actually quite common for women to go to the midwife when they have a baby (progress and regression at the same time!). I'm no longer fringeful for having a baby at home with a midwife, even though this was virtually unheard of when Jason & I were born. And to think it was almost unheard of when my mother & her brothers were born for the pregnant woman to be conscious when her baby was born (yeah, let's gas the mom at the end of labour so she's not scarred for life by the memories! and so we can swap the babies!).

Anyway, last night was our first pre-natal class. It was really fun. I'm going to enjoy it a lot. And I actually heard a story about my midwife, Allison, who the class teacher had just been at a homebirth with (she's a retired doula who came out of retirement for her friend's baby). So that's good to hear a perspective from another birth professional. Although I think Allison is great clinically and don't see any reason for her to be a different person during the birth.

So one of the first things we did in class was write our name on a nametag, and then on the back of the tag write our guesses for:

• Gender
• Birth date
• Weight

And then at our reunion class, Trish (that's our teacher) will pull these out and we can have a chuckle over who was right and who was way off. However, out of six couples, there were only two of us who didn't already know the gender of our child. Hmm....that's interesting. But you know, almost everyone I've talked to since I moved here (not that it's much different in the States, I'm sure, but I wasn't around nearly as many pregnant women) has known their child's gender quite early in the pregnancy (with the exception of.......Jen and Kiersha). I find that a bit crazy, myself. I even read a book that said you can't properly bond with your unborn child without knowing the gender. I find THAT statement a bit extreme, and entirely untrue. I am SO bonded to Frodo already--and I never think of Frodo as a boy or a girl, just my wee Frodo, my closest (geographic) friend, my baby, my child, my little gift from God, my little hobbit. I talk, and Frodo responds. I poke and Frodo pokes back. Frodo even responds to Jason's voice and touch, some other people's voices, and also to ice cream and chocolate (Frodo likes!). So if anyone tells you that you can't properly bond with your wee one without knowing the gender, that's hogwash. Anyway, so we were a bit different. The other couple who didn't know what kind of baby they were having were actually on their second (their first is seven years old already--wow!). And they weren't afraid of the surprise.

Then we all went around and said if we knew the gender of our baby, any names (if we wanted to share), midwife or OB, home or hospital birth planned. Actually, five of the couples were having a midwife, and the other couple chose the OB because they hear he's pretty much the best in Southern Ontario (I've never heard of him, but I only know a few of the OBs from Cambridge). See how midwifery moves from fringiness to normalcy in the space of only a few years? Anyway, everyone is planning a hospital birth. Except for us. YES! FRINGEHOOD HAS BEEN ATTAINED! I was excited. I'm still excited. We're weird. But our teacher is very pro-homebirth/midwife, although she doesn't force that on anyone. But we'll be watching a video of a waterbirth (apparently if you're delivering in hospital, the nurses will actually pull the plug in the tub if you try to deliver in it and refuse to get out! Is that cruel and unusual or what?!), and also of non-water vaginal birth, a caesarian, and......maybe that's all we're watching. I can't much remember.

Personally, I'm sort of entraced by the thought of a water birth (I'm definately having a water labour!). But not if we're still in the apartment--where on earth would we put the tub, how would we fill it, if it's anywhere but in our room (the teacher said she did her first waterbirth at home in an apartment--the only place for the tub was next to the kitchen table!) the neighbours will be watching--for me it's totally out of we're still here. And our bathroom is too small for two people, much less big pregnant me & Jason & the two midwives & anyone who's over to watch. Maybe if we get a house with a whirlpool...........but anyway, I'm not sure about delivering in the water. Being a midwife myself, I know the importance of measuring how much blood loss occurs at delivering, and two drops of blood in water can look just like half a pint, you know? I think that's really my only hold-up. Besides being quite covered in gross water when I get out if they also deliver the placenta under water--and how do you get out if they haven't delivered the placenta yet and the baby's still attached? I'd have to take a shower right after getting out, and what if I'm too exhausted to stand?

So those are my thoughts. I'm so excited about having Frodo. We're eagerly waiting to welcome you, little one!

Oh, and in other news, I just found out another girl at work is pregnant--she actually just got back from maternity leave a few weeks before I announced Frodo. And this morning I got an email from a good YWAM friend (I'll leave it at that in case any of her friends are reading my blog before they've checked their email) to say she's also expecting! Exciting times.....Frodo will have a lot of playmates and psuedo-cousins (of course meaning the YWAM extended family cousins).